"From All of My Fathers, To All of My Sons"

FR: All of My Fathers

TO: All of My Sons

.....life lessons learned on or near the court......

My earliest memories are of being on the floor at Walsh University in Ohio where my father was the coach.  He sparked a love for basketball in me that burns almost 50 years later.  Basketball has given me the good fortune of being around innumerable wonderful people who nurtured, protected, and encouraged me throughout my life.  I have been smart enough (most times) to listen, learn, and add their knowledge to my own.  Basketball was often the context, but life was what I was learning.  Their accumulated wisdom from personal experiences helped to make my journey easier.  They are my personal bridge builders.  They took me under their wing and helped me to become who I am.  In turn, I feel a tremendous obligation to try and help young coaches and young players in that same way...my own sons now among them.  And in the same way that my basketball life has many fathers, so too does it have many sons.  These are the lessons I want to share with all of them:

Compete in everything that you do.  No matter the activity, strive to be the best.  Understand that you will often fail, but in the act of pushing yourself you always become more than you were.  There are no negative outcomes of great competition.  Average people show up and go through the motions, great ones show up and compete.

When it is over, Respect everyone who competed with you and especially against you.  You will not like them all.  They will not all act the way you think competitors should.  Some won't like you very much, or at all.  A few may actually be bad people. However, every competitor deserves your respect.  That person fought the same battle you did and made the same sacrifices to get there.  Congratulate them.  Shake their hand.  Compliment them on what they did well.

Even on your toughest days, Enjoy what you do.  It doesn't always seem like it, and some days are tougher than others, but you are lucky to be doing what you love.  If you missed eight free throws in yesterday's game, haven't been in a game for weeks, or coach a team that is currently 2-15, there are people who would change places with you in a heartbeat.  Remember how you felt when you made the team, became a starter, or got the job? CHOOSE to embrace that joy every day.

Persist until you succeed.  So many players and coaches stop working hard, or stop working at all, often because they don't feel they are succeeding.  Sometimes that is a sign that something should change...a practice plan, a shooting form, etc. Lack of success is NEVER a hint that you should stop working.  Sudden success is never really sudden, those people work hard every day until it happens. Even if you never reach your goals, you have the pride of having worked hard at something important to you.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. -Thomas Edison

Encourage all of those around you.  Encourage your teammates, your coaches, yourself. Basketball, like life, is a pretty hard game.  No one is at their best every day.  But if you create the mindset in your team (or family, or company) that we are all for each other, the collective positive energy that is created helps to get you through the tough times.  People who play, work, or live in an encouraging environment have more confidence and take more ownership of what is going on around them.  That is a recipe for success.

Protect what you have built.  Others will always try to tear it down.  Remember your foundation, the core values that you believe in...mine are listed in this post.  If everything you do pays respect to what you believe, you are right where you need to be.  Protect the people who built it with you.  That does not mean keeping them out of harm's way.  All of my fathers "protected" me by supporting me every time I needed supporting and kicking my tail every time it needed kicked.

Be Loyal.  That doesn't mean you always agree.  In fact, in order to be successful I believe you must have dissenting voices.  If you always remove dissension you are dismissing the possibility that they are right.  Instead, I define loyalty as disagreeing in private.  Have open lines of communication inside your team/family/company and one voice when you "take the floor".

Approach what you do with Unbounded Enthusiasm.  First, if you think about it, you will realize that "enthusiastic" is really how you feel about basketball, school, or family anyway.  We don't always think we feel that way, but enthusiasm is at the heart of why we do what we do.  Secondly, your enthusiasm infects your players, teammates, or family.  Being around people who are excited about what you are doing creates a situation in which it is easy to exist and to work.

Be competitive, respectful, joyful, persistent, encouraging, protective, loyal, and enthusiastic.....What a wonderful lesson  to learn from your 'fathers' or pass on to your 'sons'.